You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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