I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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