your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
