At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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