I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize