Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
