Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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