I can't watch pbs sober anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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