see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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