Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh