she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
