I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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