I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
