My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
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You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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