you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just found a bag of teeth...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
