Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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