I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All I want is dick and wine.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
