so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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