How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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