ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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