btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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