I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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