Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
