If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she told me i tasted like america
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
