Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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