Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize