How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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