We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
