Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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