rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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