You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
