Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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