One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
