he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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