we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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