There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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