i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
