There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
