he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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