It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize