I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
