Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
