Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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