I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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