well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize