I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?