your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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