Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize