I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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