my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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