so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
