i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
