Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
