Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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