Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They took my balls.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
