drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
