yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't put those talents on a resume
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
