i barfeds in our rink
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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