the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
