Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
