mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
