i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
