Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize