am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
