I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
