i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
