Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
as a side note pls kill me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
