Don't you send me to vm
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
