Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
