I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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